Whod you bang
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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