sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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