He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
