Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
