why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
