some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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