I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
MIDGETS
????
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
