NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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