Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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