Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize