Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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