Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
