super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
