After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
