drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
