The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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