A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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