Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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