put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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