Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
