i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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