facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
