addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
