Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
