I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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