Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize