I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
