Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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