he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
