those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
