i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize