hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Still dying that you shit outside
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I would ride that face into the sunset
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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