Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
