I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
