She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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