she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
