i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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