it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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