im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this will be a night to untag.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
