You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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