I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
