I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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