so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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