i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
