yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
