I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
