i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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