dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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