walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
