I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
