so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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