can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
