it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
