So drunk, too bad you don't want this
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
