Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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