i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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