I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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